Love this Quote

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. 
Bruce Lee 

Young

I remember the younger days when the sun would touch our faces and the laughter sounded like wind chimes in the air. The humor that went on and bounced off the sounds of the bicycle bells.
Wind in my hair not a care in the world dreaming of what the future my hold before it came crashing down before us.
Ah remembering what was gives away to hope of the future.

Destiny

Fighting your destiny is like fighting a battle you can't win. Just have to go along with the ride.

There is nothing like the breeze of the beach and the sound of wind. The air smells of strawberries, while my heart thinks of you. The sky reminds me of something familiar. The ocean seems to sing my favorite song.

Then you seem to come to mind.

Everyone has different ideals of what success is. But only you can judge your own success.

Only two ways....

Oh I got that now...

either it is or it isn't...

yes or no...

go or stop...

red or green...

purple is the only color in between...

its only two ways in life it seems...

black and white no technicolor tonight...

so lay back and hear this tune keep on writing the verses while my voice sings the chorus through...

making beautiful music that only my soul hums its tune...

Sooo Wat

This is something like the holocaust and till I die I will keep doing this cause I am fucking boss.

Keep going til I can't, but who is gonna stop me, seems like I am the only one on my grind. This is who I am, I am not faking anymore.

Well

I might be a bad friend and not good at relationships. But I am good at working and making money. Might as well stick to what I am good at.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

I have never noticed how wonderful my family is to me. I think to myself I am so lucky to have them. It is the only thing that lasts.

Realization

I realized dating me is like eating a large piece of chocolate cake. For example the chocolate cake from P.F Changs....Its great at first, the presentation is spectacular. With the raspberry syrup drizzled on the plate and a strawberry sliced on the side.

As the plate comes to you everyone looks thinking they want the same desert. Some women look in envy cause they are not able to taste or understand its decadence.

So it finally reaches the table, you think I can completely handling this is going to be soo good. You lift your fork and dig right in, without pacing yourself. Each bite becomes better than the last. But as you work towards the end, you suddenly can't finish.

The sweetness has become too much, so you stop. You want to finish it but you can't, so now you have to decide if you want to take the rest home or have the waiter come and take it from the table. So while you decide waiting for the waiter, you put the fork down and wonder why you ordered such a good cake and can't finish it.

Decisions...but I think that would sum up what it's like to date me a piece of chocolate cake.

Healing

Is there anyone that wants to be with me other than myself. The desires I have are left within to fill a space, that perpetually leaks out the pain and hurt I feel.

One day I will understand what this all means or why I am stuck in this transit time. But the one thing I know is that I need to let go of you of us. The hurt you cause can never be healed or r repaired by you.

So today I will let go of my wounds to help open other doors that might be left for me.

Relationships

I love when relationships are new. The excitement of meeting someone new and the relationship seems to blossom.

When passion runs hot and it seems like its never going to change.

Well...

I don't feel anything.

Silence

I don't remember the last time you called me on the phone to tell me how much you missed me or when you are going to see me again.

I barely remember the times we used to just sit and laugh and joke the whole night away.  Its so funny how people go in and out of your life but the memories always stay.

Short Story

The last night I was laying in bed and decided to try and find my heart.  I rested my hand over my left chest feeling for the beat in my heart.  But it stayed silent, there was nothing there.  So I checked my pulse for the rhythmic beat, there it was.  So at least I knew I was alive.  So I put my right hand back over my left chest and still nothing.

Was it real? Did I turn into something so unreal I have not a beating heart? Or maybe?  The night before I cried so hard that I cried myself to sleep.  I felt like my heart had crumbled, like something had ripped it out of my chest.  I thought the pain had subsided long ago or at least in denial I thought.  But I guess my heart had one more piece to chip off.  Though the next morning I assumed I wouldn't feel like living or feel like a zombie.  But no, I felt renewed as if some vampire had taken my heart and left me a empty container that had nothing left living inside, but I was able to breath and move like everyone else.

But something in me changed that night.  That place where my heart was is now just an empty space.  But sometimes late at night I still have longing to where I may have left it....

Dating

I have come to the conclusion that I am a dating failure.  I cant be in a relationship more than 3 months at a time.  They all fail.  Is it me? Or is it the crazy people that I am so fond of.  I have had more than my share of heart break, false promises, and paranoia that I don't think I can take it anymore.

So my friend that I have been dating for NINE months tells me,  I think your trying to trap me into a relationship.!!! What?! Trap you why?  I like the way things are the easy going the the whole dating thing, I have routine with you now.  So basically I am the crazy person and your just a immature little boy...afraid of what what the imaginary ghost in your closet.

Knowing you makes me want to change for the better. Understanding you makes me want to tell you all my secrets and relinquish my doubts.

Everyday I am missing you, feels like a void in my heart that I can not replace.  I wonder if you even still think of me?  Wondering if thoughts of me come to mind, from time to time.   Remembering the moments we had in the simpleness of what was.

Remember When

I remember a time when life stood still and the smell of you encased my thoughts.
I remember when the time we had was pure nothing in life could touch what we had.  Beginnings is where I want to stay, where things are blooming at its best.  Looking back to the beginning where time stood still, when problems took a day off.

But one of these days I will have that time again, when I will smile and light up a room remember what it was like to be happy once again.

not meant to live alone

 Keith De'Shawn Sturghill on Monday, February 27, 2012 at 7:44am ·

I am not meant to live alone,

That's what Luther said and I believe him,

I needed a woman to turn my house into a home,

Not just any woman,

More than just a woman who speaks with a similar voice,

Or touches me with similar looking hands,

Kisses me with similar looking lips,

A woman who makes me feel,

Feel the impact of the hand of God whenever she touches me, speaks to me and kisses me,

Since love first walked through my door I've known that forever was just a day away,

My eyes are open to things they were once blind to,

I thank God every day because I have finally found the love I write about,

The same love that Luther Vandross, Whitney Houston and Gerald Levert sang about,

I'm blessed, better than blessed thank you lord,

This the same love that writers give characters in books and yet here I am living it,

This woman gives me the strength to move mountains and yet her kisses make me weak in the knees,

No more sadness, pain of confusion in my life thanks to her,

Here and now I vow to live in the immortal moment of love with the woman of my dreams,

She brought my ink and all of my favorite songs to life,

I don't need wishes from a genie or luck from a leprechaun all I need is her love fueled by our belief in God,

This is how I know I am NOT meant to be alone,

She has turned my house into a home...

Time

I am sorry for putting this in fast forward. But there is no time to waste...so lets make haist. Today is the only day that we can rely on.  Feelings change and never stay the same.  So becoming what we are now, is something I know will remain in my constant memory.  Being here, knowing that you will only stay short while.  Leaves me with more excitement than a chance of dark woes. 

Drowning

I had a dream the other night of me in a pool with no one to save me.  Knowing that I couldn't swim what was I doing there? Why did it only seem that I had only myself to blame.  No one to save me, only myself I had to claim.

Only a little bit of air left to hold in my lungs.  Scared to let go....

Elysium is found

Elysium is found

by Jamie Wambugu on Wednesday, February 8, 2012 at 11:33pm ·

I imagine to taste you

Grateful

The god's ate of lush...grapes

Fruit

To taste you

Would be...elysium to ensue

In the most passionate display

Of sensual things to say

Lay

My heavy tongue

 Upon you

Hedonist I believe this

Would allow the sun through

Is there really an elysium

Here within we ?

A paradise paved

Between my thighs

Your Garden of Eden

 My Pearly gates

A Celestial Kingdom as we fornicate

Elysium currently flows

 Though Fortunate Isles

 Deep within my circular springs

 Hipped rotates lay foundations

 Explored without bounds 

 Our own Nirvana

When I'm here with u

Utopianism is found

 In pleasures feast 

 You unravel my soul

Releasing my beast

 Interweaving our bodies between the sheets 

Nectar seeps

Tranquil emotions

Give in to sensual outbursts

Paradisiacal fulfillment

 Rapture if you were the captured

Between my reeps 

Elysium fields quench a specific thirst

With prolific speech

Because you feel so good to me

I have found the cradle of life

Tasting you once...twice

My fruit filled reverie

Laden honey  sticky sweet

 Heightening expressions

 Do exceed...  pleasures mounts

 As ecstasy bleeds

 Flowing though my Elysium streams

Fortaking of the fountain of life

Upon my lips , true delight

A taste of heaven, enticing our flight

Engulfed within bewildering dreams

 Sweltering moister, flows endlessly

 Paradise found,  thrusted in deep

 Rhythmical quivers,  feeling his heat 

Serenades of melodies glow

Sung to the beat of our pounding flow 

Entwined within gripping between we

Wanting to release letting  pleasures exceed

 Blissful rushes , trembling deep

 Waterfalls flowing as Elysium reached

Peace is found , tranquility

 Utopia u are to me

Serenity... for it is never far, when u r wrapped within me

 Elysium is found

Beauty

• "you touched my heart ... made ink create letters in silence along temporal lobes...you placed your signature on my soul... exhaled your breath into my lungs and gave me ...a reason ... to be... me... within... your... space...you lay within the seams of my dreams till reality screamed...into existence

Behind...

I hate when people talk about me behind my back and when they ask for the truth I tell them with a honest straight face.  All alone in this place with no where to go.  Except for the pillow where I rest my head, that is where I call home.  I wish god would take me from this place.  Beauty a curse, smartness a sin.  Nothing left of me only to let the sorrow begin. 

Supposed To Be

I must admit that you  pulled a fast one on me,

I was wild, untamed, nomadic and yet you just had to home me,

Cook for my soul and feed my spirit that was hungry inside,

Walked right past my smile and wiped the tears that I've cried,

You heard her tell me to cry a river that's why you went a got a boat,

And just when I was down, out and discouraged your words gave me hope,

Your lips gave me a reason to kiss again,

Your hips met my grip and we danced as friends,

In the end it seems as though we find ourselves at the beginning,

Even though we are beyond lovers something seems fresh about us, unfamiliar yet friendly,

You actually get me,

I never have to explain any of the big words I use,

If its broke I would usually fix it but you came with your own tools,

Your head on my chest as if there was no better place for you to rest,

As we lay under out force field all attacks on us become redirected,

Took something untouched that was never done and perfected it,

As soon as your heart answered mine I ran with it and never questioned it,

Truth of the matter is nobody is supposed to be here especially you,

And yet here I am in this bed lying next to you,

I'm not supposed to feel love like that the love that I write about,

I'm not supposed to see the sun when I look outside and its night out,

 I Sincerely Hope Immortality's Touch,

Will allow me to live and die in your arms and their impenetrable clutch,

I turned around and saw an Angel flying toward me with tears,

Streaming down her face from disappointment through the years,

I asked myself who would make an Angel cry or touch a butterfly's wings,

Whose soul is so dirty that they could do such a thing,

In the long run I have to thank them because now that Angel is my own,

Direct connection with God who I have on speed dial on my phone,

I"m not supposed to be in love right now I'm supposed to be alone,

So I thank you for giving this untamed nomad his hope back and a home...

Supposed To Be

by Keith De'Shawn Sturghill 

Well

There are things in me left unsaid that are not normal, in which i can barely breath.  I leave inside the hurt I feel not knowing if I can really heal.  Breaking inside, slipping away...the hurt you have caused still remains...

Empty

There are some parts of me that wish I was dead.  Not thinking about life or the people in it.  Just ending it all without a look or a glance.  Forgetting who I am like I never existed.  Letting go of a life that I never wanted.  Emptiness finds me, sorrow consumes me.  Giving into a space that is cold and unfeeling, wrapping my sadness with it. 

You

The way I imagine you in my mind is the way I see myself.  Distant but close, far but near.  I remember your smell, our life together.  I seem to remember the joy and sorrows that might have swayed my mind.  Ahhh in this moment with the dim light brushing against your face.  I take a deep breath trying not to exhale to keep the moment in.  I am afraid to feel this, I might just take a step back.  Pause for a moment.  Stand still.

Trapped Inside

Your words have no presence here... silence speaks volumes, there is nothing left here for you to take. 

Only inside my thoughts of you I can replace.

Different

Its so funny how I sit and wonder why...when I can't seem to find what I am looking for, but what am I looking for exactly? Someone different, not like all the others....



But it seems that when all I get is more of the same, but it turns into nothing more than having someone else to blame, but only myself I maintain? To understand and realize is it me, that needs to change? NO!!....The truth is I don't belong here...standing out too much...afraid of the stares...not realizing the star you held hands with, was truely a star in the making....who could magically turn your dreams into a current reality....so make your wish, say it twice...the proof was there in front of you....

Not realizing that inside of me there is much more than just the present. I dream of the future, I plan for the future....unlike the others...walking towards it, keeping an ambitious pace so that I can get rid of this empty space. So busy moving toward outerspace, while the normal people stay here on earth with a solemn face.

Such a shame no one can keep up with my pace, left a alone in this space, I can only call this my place, my home, in the sky with the stars....

Ease the Pain

I have kicked you out of my heart and asked you to leave. Everytime I let you in, you take away my love with you.

Oh how can I ease this pain?

I feel all alone, on the floor, on my knees in pain. I have to find the strength to stay way.  Out and in and in you go,  I feel the fire...then I lose my self control. 

I need to ease the pain...

I try to hold on but you keep knocking at my door.  Everytime I let you in, you take control and take what you can.  But I refuse to love you again. 

If its not love that you have come for, why are you here?  When you have someone else to love you.  Give me all or nothing at all. 

I need to ease this pain in my heart. 

sad heart

Belonging inside not listening to my heart beat.  Only in the mind my heart speaks.  Understanding within my heart, it has not healed. It only has a beat that is silent.

Nice Guy

Someone told me last night oh you just need to go out and find a nice guy to be with.  Yes, I am sure that every guy I met was an asshole.  No, they were all nice guys just burnt by passed flames.  All fundamentally the same cookie cuter framing, with the same game plan.  Nice guy you say? what store can I find that in.  What year, make and model can I get that in?  Easier said than done, instead just more of the same.  Oh I wish I was more choosier before....not so care free. 

Beginning to feel resentment and false hope for the pain that has scared me inside, because of the hurt from others.  And those others that caused thier hopes and dreams to be dashed. 

unsure

Living in this place that no can touch not belonging anywhere special.  Living a lie that I only can create.  Becoming nothing more than what I am.  Giving myself, lending a helping hand.  Begining to regret unlimited time.  I have had enough of this air space, enough of this time.

Me

Regergitated by the fame, only resentment in me occurs, not believing in the hype, letting you call me what you might.  Not giving into what we might be or what we are not.  Only letting you see that the heart in me that is not the same. 

Beat me down, bring me up.  The only thing I feel in me is nothing at all.  Boys only making excuses of why they can't or why they can be, of the reasons why they won't.  I can't hear my feelings, I know I have died within.  I wish didn't have to feel disappointment,  I wish I could feel the courage within, that I might have left inside.

  I wish I needed nothing else to fill this empty space, just the food I ate.  I hate the fact there is nothing in me...  The hate I feel are the things that only my eyes can see.  I am stuck in this body with no where to go.  To only feel trapped, but only resentment in me that occurs.  I wish I could hide from me, to give into something that could set me free.  I am so sick of this place that only shelters only my thoughts.....