The last night I was laying in bed and decided to try and find my heart. I rested my hand over my left chest feeling for the beat in my heart. But it stayed silent, there was nothing there. So I checked my pulse for the rhythmic beat, there it was. So at least I knew I was alive. So I put my right hand back over my left chest and still nothing.
Was it real? Did I turn into something so unreal I have not a beating heart? Or maybe? The night before I cried so hard that I cried myself to sleep. I felt like my heart had crumbled, like something had ripped it out of my chest. I thought the pain had subsided long ago or at least in denial I thought. But I guess my heart had one more piece to chip off. Though the next morning I assumed I wouldn't feel like living or feel like a zombie. But no, I felt renewed as if some vampire had taken my heart and left me a empty container that had nothing left living inside, but I was able to breath and move like everyone else.
But something in me changed that night. That place where my heart was is now just an empty space. But sometimes late at night I still have longing to where I may have left it....
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